My New Years Message for You

As people across the globe are ushering in the New Year, you can see the excitement of the unknown. Nobody truly knows what 2012 will hold but we all know what took place in 2011. And that gives most hope or expectations for the upcoming year. Regardless of what life threw at you this year, you're still here and so many can't say the same. We have lost loved ones, some jobs, friends, etc. But let the record show that you may be down, but you are not out. Even at your weakest point you are strong enough to withstand it. Remember that God will never put more on you than you can handle. Stay strong in your faith and always believe. Shoot for the moon in 2012, because even if you miss, you'll still be amongst the stars. Be blessed, be loved, be great. Happy New Years Everyone.

Letter for Love

To Friend of Past,

We’ve been friends for some time but nows the time I want more.  No longer is my heart satisfied with half a hug good bye and a kiss on the cheek.  I want to be the one to keep you warm at night and keep you smiling all day.  But then there’s that dreaded thought of what if things go wrong.  Because to lose you at all would lead to hurt seen on an Adele song.  But let’s not think wrong, when all I see in us is
right.  How could I ever want another when all I think about is you. The shine in your eyes, the glow of your smile, and the warmth of your laugh haunts my dreams because you are my beautiful nightmare.
Everyday you’re not mines is another to not know love.  I’m not asking you for your forever but to be with you a day at a time.  Because the day we become more than friends, is the day I start a wonderful life.

Signed
Hope For Tomorrow

Enough is Not Enough

Telling me you love me is no longer enough for me to get by and forget
about the ish that you cause me both day and night.  You telling me that you’re sorry is no longer all it will take to erase the pain and end all hurt caused by your words and those misleading actions.
Telling me that you need me is no longer enough to keep me here next to you when you’re steady pushing me away with your words of disapproval.  Telling me you miss me is no longer enough to keep me running back to you like a puppy who knows its way home.  No longer
will you telling me anything be enough to cause any reaction that leads me back to square one.  Remembering why I left in the first place.  If you want to love me, I need more than just enough.  I need
more than just sweet words that you heard on the late night slow jams. Those butterfly kisses and raindrop tears will no longer cause a weakness in my heart that pulls me back wasteland of hearts past.
Never again will you have the ability to seduce me and confuse my body and mind with what looks and feels like love. Because the love that you’re selling expired and baby I’m looking for that undeniable, undefinable, always reliable type love.   It’s a brand new day and
woman I am a brand new Man.  So no longer will enough be enough. Because if you wanna be with me, you better bring the real stuff.

Nature of Love

Allow me to live you. Continue to allow me to smell your sweet perfume as without it I have no air. Being unable to breathe in the sweet aroma that appears whenever you enter a room will cause me to suffocate like I was a man on the moon with no suit. This air may be fit for others, but I can only breathe you. Allow me to fulfill my life by living by you. Every day I wake up with the intent to love you more than the day before. Even to be successful is yet a failure as I have more love to give and will continue to give as my love grows daily as though it is replanted and nourished. Fertilize my love with yours. Continue to give me sight by allowing my eyes to rest upon the heavenly beauty which is you. There are no others capable of catching my eyes as they are fixated on only you. When I’m not with you I walk in the dark until your smile which is my light, illuminates my world so bright. Allow me to feel but not in a physical sense. Allow me to feel your presence by touching me with your love. I know you're heaven sent because love like this only comes from above. Agape. Our love is never ending as a galaxy of its own. To what end we love each other the answer will never be known.

My Mind Starts After Goodbye

The conversation ended hours ago, yet it still replays in my head. Did you go to sleep right after, or are you up thinking of me while in bed. We were never meant happen, accidental love is us. But now the key to my heart is yours, and in your love I will trust. Where do we go from here, as we both belong to another. Can this be considered creeping, if we never met under the covers? But I've made love to your mind, and I know I fathered some visions. Of us together forever, surely that's one possible mission. We started off as great friends, being there for each other. Then one day we realized, we'd make much better lovers. If only your man was aware, in what he had in you. Bc what he ain't willing to handle, Millz will surely tend to. Now I've never been one, to try and mess up a good thing. But the only time hes made you smile, is the day he gave you that ring. Time for us to test the theory, if lovers best start as friends. Because being with you is all I could imagine, every since our convo came to an end.

I Don't Love You

I love you....these three words get thrown around as if they are on a roller coaster with no safety belt. Do you love me? Do i love you? No longer will i settle for the feeling of an emotion that is constantly played like a Wayne drop on the radio station. I need more than those three words that you've said to those before and if this don't work will say to those after. I'd die for you...see I don't want that Ride or Die mentality when it comes to choosing the one to carry my seed and to allow me to provide all her needs. I want that sun up thinking the same thing I'm thinking when the sun goes down. And if you don't know that one thing I'm thinking about is you and only you. I need you like a baby needs it's mother to nurture my heart and bring peace to my soul. I don't want you to be with me, I want you to be apart of me. You are the air I breathe to provide the life i need. So do I love you??? No, baby I live you. With every beat this old heart of mines makes, the thought of you runs through my mind while the want of you runs through my veins. Is this some sort of drug I'm now on? If it is I want to overdose on you. No intervention, b/c just to hear your name mentioned makes me want just one more hit. You are to me what I've always hoped you'd be. My everything. Do I love you.....Baby what I feel for you can only be described as, I Live You.

Hearts Phone

Thanks a lot for messing up; what would’ve been a good night’s sleep. Because I was surely resting up, until I heard my phone beep. I almost ignored it without a look, b/c surely no one could call me this late. A wrong number it must surely be, I’ll find out on tomorrows date. But something said look, and could it be true. The number that I saw belonged to you. Now what could be wrong, what could’ve happened. For surely its work purposed, for this call to have happen. A clear of the throat and a hello to follow, once I heard your voice, my heart had to be swallowed. Gotta try and sound cool, unphased by it all. But only someone like you could tell I was smiling through a call. She hears it in my voice, no way to play it off. So I’ll say she must be crazy and cover it with a cough. Now my whole world has been flipped, with a simple dial of a phone. I never want to hang up, never again hear that tone. It wasn’t a long call, but long enough for me to wonder. Does she still think about me at night, right before her early slumber? Figured I was a lost thought and dreams of us a thing in the past. But now you have me pondering, could it be my time at last. So thank you for ruining a good sleep b/c now it will be great. Because I was already up going insane, thinking of you till late. If I would’ve ignored that call, the whole night my heart would have raced. Wondering what you were doing, not knowing it was you from whom the call was placed.

UnWanted Friend

I'm sure there has been someone that you found fake and a horrible friend.  Me too!!

Why do you keep standing there / every time you come around I turn mute / chill out with the prancing around / trying to get someone to find it cute / Spray all the perfume you want / to give you that real nice smell / Because your friendship is like some shit / That’s easy for anyone to tell / No longer will I be numb / sit back and look like a fool / I have too much pride for that / Being dumb is against the rules / You’re the kind of person / That turns everything about self / Once I realized that’s how you did me / I put our “friendship” on the shelf / Don’t sit there and pretend / As though you never did wrong / You’re the reason this poem / Could turn to an angry man’s song / Now don’t get this twisted / I’m not mad at you  at all / Just realized the tricks I’ve seen you pull / And never again for them will I fall / I hope you find peace in knowing / You’re as real as a mirage / B/c you as friend makes as much sense / As having no door on your garage / So keep with the life you live / For you it’s been great / But when you realize the things you lost / That’s when it’ll be entirely too late / As far as being in your life / I know that I don’t belong / Like DMX singing background / On one of Beyoncé’s love songs/ I’m still the kind of person / To be there when folks are in need / But in order for me to do anything for you / Your death bed you’d have to be on indeed!!

We Miss You

How should I express the love, sadness, and hurt I feel, when no words can describe the feelings that are clouding up my mind and spilling over into my heart. How can I write down what I’m going through when these tears flow interminably from my soul to this paper.  Never could I explain what you meant to me nor what you meant to us.  No matter how long you were on this Earth, more time would’ve been such a plus.  You’re in a better place is what I’ll hear and even it’s true.  Still we wanted you here with us, until time itself was through. I know that sounds mighty selfish, but never truer words have been spoken.  But I can see you dancing at Heavens gate, knowing you, you’re probably up there joking.  To never see your smile or hear you laugh again are things I must learn to accept.  And all the words and promises I gave I’ll make sure that they are kept.  You will forever be missed and never forgotten, as this much I know is true.  No matter how much time flies and days go by, we will always love you.

Rest In Paradise

David “Hub” McMillan – Grandpa

Downfall of Man: Pride

I am just a shell of what I was once. No longer filled with the substance that made me…me.  No longer do I fill up a room with my excitement and joy because those things have been stolen from me.  No longer was I able to fight the things that I once shook off.  No longer could I turn the other cheek as they have both been battered and bruised.  Most just say something seems different.  They don’t dare take the time to peel back the layers of my onion like life. b/c if they cut too deep they’d surely want to cry.  Looking into my soul would give you chills as it’s black as the moment before sunrise.  But don’t dare sit there and wait for a beautiful day, b/c my mind and mode is but a house w/ no electric at night….nothing but darkness.  I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel as I’ve been blind folded and spun around as though this is some childish game.  But I’m a man…..and they say a man’s not supposed to cry….damn that.  My eyes flow as though the levies were never built up.  In those times I say I’m fine, there is a man inside dying for help from drowning off the pride that I keep inside.  If only I’d call for help, someone would throw a life saver and save me from myself.  But instead I’ll slowly sink and drown with everyday being another day closer to the point of no return.

Why?!?!?!

The words escape my mind….damn. The thoughts never do…..why?  Why can’t I wake up in the morning without the thought of your love on my mind?  Is it possible to fall asleep without wondering and hoping you’re thinking of me the way I’m thinking of you?  What must I do to stop the day dreams of a happily ever after where you are mines and I am yours.  Even in those dreams when I catch a glimpse into your eyes I feel as if though…..if just for that second…..you ARE mines.  In that second I imagine coming home to a woman that’s you and a house that’s ours.  But that second is over…yet I see you smile.  Was that smile at me, for me, because of me?  Could that smile had been the result of a thought where I was yours and you were mines?  Could it be?......Could it be that I am on your mind as you open your eyes to the start a new day?  Is it possible that the one things on your head, while you lay in your bed is I? Could it be that we both dream the same dream yet awake to realize…..awake to think that things in the dream could never be?    Will they never be because you do not belong to me, or will this life be only a dream because we fear what could be?  Could it be I’ll always think what if because I never asked why not?  I’ll never know the answer to my questions because the time has passed.  You have walked away if not for this moment then for this life.  Now I lay down another night with you on my mind to know the vicious cycle of waking up with thoughts of you on my mind.  The thoughts never escape….Damn.  The words always do….why?

Words From Millz

Just wanted to honestly say thank you to everyone who has emailed me or hit me up Facebook to show love.  I've been getting a lot of feedback from my writings and I hope I can continue to write something worth your time.  I believe we all have a story to tell regardless of what it may be.  My mind usually revolves around different aspects of love. Whether I've been through it personally or seen others close by go through it.  With that being said I'm going to keep bringing you something new on Millzoetry Mondays until no one wants to see me write anymore.  Pass the word if you like it. If you don't like it, keep it real and tell me, so i can improve and grow.  1 Luv

Iblameu

Public Service Announcement - This is different from what I normally do, but want to know how you feel regardless.

To be real all I wanted was to hear your voice. The one thing that could’ve kept me sane and in control of it all.  All I needed was a word from you. The one thing that could of put me at ease and at peace with myself.  If only you would’ve gave me a call, maybe then I wouldn’t have did the things I did.  If I would’ve only been able to know you were there for me. I wouldn’t of felt alone in this world.  If for one day you could’ve shown that you cared maybe I would’ve believed that I meant something to you.  But instead you had better things to do, but you wonder why I flipped the way I did.  You knew I was hurting and did nothing. So for that I blame you. I blame you for the way things ended.  I blame you for what happened next.  I blame you for the scars that’ll never heal due to the ever flowing river of red which now soaks the very fabric that you bought me to wear.  Think about the difference you could of made had your words been more than words and actions been more than novelty mugs.  Great for show but never worth the use.

Answer: U

The feel of your fingertips, anytime they touch my skin / sends my mind into a whirl as though I’ve been swooped up by a vicious wind / The thought of me and no you is one I can’t do / if I’m to go on with another person then my question is who / Who can bring a smile to my face, with just the sound of their voice / There is no other but you, so no need for another choice / To be with just you, no words need be said / because me with no you, is like sandwich with no bread / No matter how corny, that line I just wrote / I’m going to finish this off, on a serious note / You stay on my mind, as if some kind of disease / While not much can be promised, here is a guarantee / Just like a game of monopoly, wanting us will never end / My love for you will never break, no matter how much it may bend / And I’ll do everything to take us back, keeping us forever as friends / This battle I promise to fight, until the very end.

Untitled 21 March 11

I’m able to hide the fact that I’m a fiend, but the undeniable itch that can only be scratched by the feel of your love is all it takes to send me into an uncontrollable down spiral that can only be stopped by the touch of your hands and the feel of your kiss.  But I digress…never before have I been able to explore the true depths of my figurative heart until the day your love shined that microscopic light into my soul.  Since that day my literal heart has found literal life to live in this unforgivable world.  But who needs forgiveness from man, when I’m favored by God’s angel…You….You give me the strength I need to proceed in this daily journey I call life.  You give me the support I need to be the Man you need in our time of need.

One Love : Two Stories

This is something I wrote just showing how different people can react to the same love.

If I would’ve known the shit we’d deal with, I would’ve never learned your name

But since that day I first said hello, it’s been everything but the same

If I would’ve known the trouble that would follow, I would’ve never took your number

Ever since I sent you that first text, I haven’t been able to get any slumber

Had I known the destruction we’d cause, never once would I have kissed your lips

Only after I received my first taste, our happiness was forever eclipsed.

Only if I would’ve seen the pain we’d endure, I would’ve never got on one knee

Because once you said “I do”, I knew trouble and sorrow would always follow me

Had I known the joy you would cause, I would’ve never played the waiting games

Because since the day we met, I’ve been enjoying our life in frames

If I would’ve realized you had an angels voice, I would’ve called so much sooner

Because the sound of your voice affects my key of life similar to a piano tuner

If I could’ve comprehended that you’d make my life whole, I would’ve asked before

Because seeing you dressed in all white, is what I want along with so much more

A love like ours I could never dream, so only Lord knows how this could happen

Because growing old with someone like you, is something I’d never imagine.

War of Love

Welcome to Millzoetry Onlife.  I'm trying to get into the writing thing and would like to know what everyone thinks.  I'm hoping to be able to post something new for the blog every Monday.  I'm no pro at this, but I do have a passion for wanting to get better.  Hopefully you enjoy what you see and I can keep you coming back for more.

Gone are the days of silent HI’s and winks for I love you / No longer will we gaze into each other’s eyes, no more,  those days are through / Farewell to the smile on your face, from the joy that I would bring / Adios to the silly songs about our love, that we would always sing / So long to the cold nights I’d endure, where you’d be by my side / No more will you carry the healing aid, to fix my broken pride / Here are the days of loud goodbyes and fingers for how you feel / To stay is the hate in your eyes, that I pray is not for real / Hello to the angry scowl, that I now know all too well / Hola to all the hateful words we share, no longer will we L-O-L / Welcome to all the warm nights, where we are filled with rage / Always will we remain apart, never again the same page / Memories of love are here to stay, some good yet some are bad / But nothing can ever erase, all the beautiful moments we had / The scars and wounds of this love battle, will show forever on my heart / But this is the game we chose to play, we knew the rules from the start.

Jerseylove

Another pretty old one

When we were young I didn’t notice
The woman you would grow to be
We’ve both really grown up
And now I want you with me

I know niggas holla and stare
All day every day
But I want to be your man
In the very worst way

I’ve never been afraid
To just speak on how I feel
So I’m just gonna do I what I do
And be straight up, honest, and real

I want you to fill your role
As my blessing from above
I want you to take your place
As my one and only jerseylove

Slow Jams

This one I wrote a little while ago, incorporating different R&B songs in each section. What do you think?

I wouldn’t cross the ocean
Because I’d never be that far away
Wouldn’t have to climb a mountain
Because our love is here today

Won’t turn back the hands of time
Because a future with you
Like us always and forever
Is something I’d like to do

I’d love you like honey
And I got a sweet tooth
You’ll never be outta my system
Like India Arie telling the truth

Don’t wanna be like The Chi'lites
Wondering if they seen ya
Won’t be like Carl Thomas
Wishing I never met ya

Just like the sun shining
I hope your love don’t ever change
Don’t wanna be like K-Ci and JoJo
Going crazy and derange

I want our love to be a slow jam
Tell the story of you and me
I want to be like R. Kelly
Screaming out Marry Me

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What more do you want from me
I'm giving all that I can give
Maybe I'm just not enough for you
Should we move on and try again

You've told me I'm all you want
But you're all i've ever needed
To get past the past to be with me
And move on from him is all I've pleaded

I know you can't hide from your memories
But why not make new ones with me
Don't waste life worrying about what was
Instead focus on us and what's to be

But if you rather live in the past
Then that's where I must let you stay
I'm working on making a brighter future
And not living in another groundhogs day

Want you....Can't have you

I know we chose to keep it slow
But I can't help what's over me
Everytime I'm in your presence
Time stops to enjoy your company

Never in life have I met someone
So truthful and always oh so real
We can relax and just enjoy ourselves
Or go out and have a nice meal

You've opened my eyes to things unseen
Life's pleasure I had never known
To think of this ever ending one day
I'd rather suffer through kidney stones

Have no clue of what's to come from this
Maybe a suit for me and a dress for you
Only thing to give this a happy ending
Would be a fairy tale, where you say I do

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Look I'm tired of the fussing
Even fed up with the implying
It's hurts me more than you'll know
Anytime I know you've been crying

Truth is you're best I've ever had
And I know i did nothing to deserve
A woman with such class and beauty
Rocking a crystal smile w/ coke bottle curve

I wanna be the only man you want
With the combination of all you'll need
Because your love is a strong addiction
In my heart before all you will supersede

I've had failures with so many others
Whose names no longer seem to matter
With you i want to make this thing work
So here I am serving you, my heart on a platter