UnWanted Friend

I'm sure there has been someone that you found fake and a horrible friend.  Me too!!

Why do you keep standing there / every time you come around I turn mute / chill out with the prancing around / trying to get someone to find it cute / Spray all the perfume you want / to give you that real nice smell / Because your friendship is like some shit / That’s easy for anyone to tell / No longer will I be numb / sit back and look like a fool / I have too much pride for that / Being dumb is against the rules / You’re the kind of person / That turns everything about self / Once I realized that’s how you did me / I put our “friendship” on the shelf / Don’t sit there and pretend / As though you never did wrong / You’re the reason this poem / Could turn to an angry man’s song / Now don’t get this twisted / I’m not mad at you  at all / Just realized the tricks I’ve seen you pull / And never again for them will I fall / I hope you find peace in knowing / You’re as real as a mirage / B/c you as friend makes as much sense / As having no door on your garage / So keep with the life you live / For you it’s been great / But when you realize the things you lost / That’s when it’ll be entirely too late / As far as being in your life / I know that I don’t belong / Like DMX singing background / On one of Beyoncé’s love songs/ I’m still the kind of person / To be there when folks are in need / But in order for me to do anything for you / Your death bed you’d have to be on indeed!!

We Miss You

How should I express the love, sadness, and hurt I feel, when no words can describe the feelings that are clouding up my mind and spilling over into my heart. How can I write down what I’m going through when these tears flow interminably from my soul to this paper.  Never could I explain what you meant to me nor what you meant to us.  No matter how long you were on this Earth, more time would’ve been such a plus.  You’re in a better place is what I’ll hear and even it’s true.  Still we wanted you here with us, until time itself was through. I know that sounds mighty selfish, but never truer words have been spoken.  But I can see you dancing at Heavens gate, knowing you, you’re probably up there joking.  To never see your smile or hear you laugh again are things I must learn to accept.  And all the words and promises I gave I’ll make sure that they are kept.  You will forever be missed and never forgotten, as this much I know is true.  No matter how much time flies and days go by, we will always love you.

Rest In Paradise

David “Hub” McMillan – Grandpa

Downfall of Man: Pride

I am just a shell of what I was once. No longer filled with the substance that made me…me.  No longer do I fill up a room with my excitement and joy because those things have been stolen from me.  No longer was I able to fight the things that I once shook off.  No longer could I turn the other cheek as they have both been battered and bruised.  Most just say something seems different.  They don’t dare take the time to peel back the layers of my onion like life. b/c if they cut too deep they’d surely want to cry.  Looking into my soul would give you chills as it’s black as the moment before sunrise.  But don’t dare sit there and wait for a beautiful day, b/c my mind and mode is but a house w/ no electric at night….nothing but darkness.  I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel as I’ve been blind folded and spun around as though this is some childish game.  But I’m a man…..and they say a man’s not supposed to cry….damn that.  My eyes flow as though the levies were never built up.  In those times I say I’m fine, there is a man inside dying for help from drowning off the pride that I keep inside.  If only I’d call for help, someone would throw a life saver and save me from myself.  But instead I’ll slowly sink and drown with everyday being another day closer to the point of no return.

Why?!?!?!

The words escape my mind….damn. The thoughts never do…..why?  Why can’t I wake up in the morning without the thought of your love on my mind?  Is it possible to fall asleep without wondering and hoping you’re thinking of me the way I’m thinking of you?  What must I do to stop the day dreams of a happily ever after where you are mines and I am yours.  Even in those dreams when I catch a glimpse into your eyes I feel as if though…..if just for that second…..you ARE mines.  In that second I imagine coming home to a woman that’s you and a house that’s ours.  But that second is over…yet I see you smile.  Was that smile at me, for me, because of me?  Could that smile had been the result of a thought where I was yours and you were mines?  Could it be?......Could it be that I am on your mind as you open your eyes to the start a new day?  Is it possible that the one things on your head, while you lay in your bed is I? Could it be that we both dream the same dream yet awake to realize…..awake to think that things in the dream could never be?    Will they never be because you do not belong to me, or will this life be only a dream because we fear what could be?  Could it be I’ll always think what if because I never asked why not?  I’ll never know the answer to my questions because the time has passed.  You have walked away if not for this moment then for this life.  Now I lay down another night with you on my mind to know the vicious cycle of waking up with thoughts of you on my mind.  The thoughts never escape….Damn.  The words always do….why?